![]() Instead of me saying, ‘Sorry, we are delayed’, I put the truth up front and said why. “I know you feel I am not submitting your file and it is frustrating, but I know that if we wait another day, I will have the correct form and the underwriter will have everything they need to approve the file. So my response to the loan officer is this. I may have a loan officer in the office that is frustrated because I didn’t submit the file into underwriting yet, however, I did’t submit the file into underwriting because my verification of employment is only half filled out and if it is half filled out, they may not get their home…. When I can take the extra time and submit a file into underwriting that is complete, the outcome is 100 times better than me trying to push the file through and rushing to get the underwriter to figure it out. This takes me, not rushing, not apologizing and focusing on the end goal, not the little things that get in the way every day. ![]() So I can help facilitate the work and get the job done so the client can get their home but ensuring that the underwriter has the proper information so they can make the best decision. I work in the Mortgage Industry….we are working with clients daily that don’t know exactly what the underwriter needs in order for them to get their home. Their Response: “I appreciated you taking the extra time so we don’t have to redo it.” Your Response: “Thank you for waiting for this project to be completed, I wanted to make sure it was right and ready for the presentation” If you put yourself on offense, they are going to respond to it in a productive way. If you automatically put your self on defense, they are going to respond in a negative way. Imagine yourself as the person you are talking to, or wanting to say ‘sorry’ to. When you find yourself in a situation where you may be saying sorry, do these things. We need to start looking at it from an outsiders perspective. We don’t always have to respond to a situation and we especially don’t have to respond if the response is going to be ‘sorry’. ![]() If we can shift our thinking to realize that we may not have to actually say anything in the moments, that is the first step. ![]() Is it because we are truly sorry? Or is this just a habit we have ingrained in our brains for years because we feel we owe others something? We have to shift our thinking to understand why we feel we have to say sorry in the first place. Whether we are sorry someone else is late, or sorry we are late. We have to stop trying to ‘apologize’ for everything. In the two books I listed above, they are clear in saying ‘STOP’. These are all silly and meaningless things right? So why do we say ‘sorry’ for things out of our control? And why do we have to say sorry for everything we do? Sorry for the toast burning, sorry for the dog peeing on the floor, sorry I didn’t call you back early like I said, or sorry that you cut yourself trying to slice an apple. Why would I feel this way?įor years I felt as though everything was my fault. When I say sorry now, I say it out loud as though I am resentful for the ‘sorry’ I am trying to say. I actually say ‘sorry’ now but it is in a different manner. I remember this so profoundly that it has literally scared me as an adult. ![]() When I grew up, I was always saying ‘sorry’. Obviously, in my small view, I am only listing two but there are many more….but why is this a common theme in leadership books today? The book ‘Girl Stop Apologizing’ by Rachel Hollis and ‘Confidence Creator’ by Heather Monahan are two that I have read recently that highlight the topic. There have been a lot of books and blogs lately about making sure you ‘stop apologizing’. ![]()
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